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Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

Psalm 46:10

I’m Megan. I’m Mom. I’m Wife, I’m Daughter, I’m Mrs. Pastor, I’m Friend. I’m a lot of things to a lot of people, and in the race to be it all and learn it all and do it all, I often forget the most important piece of it all. I’m His. I’m redeemed. I’m loved. I’m seen. I’m safe. And He has done it all.

Our story with infertility began in 2006, back when nobody ever really spoke about such things. I sure didn’t speak about such things! Once I had made peace with it and shifted to another path, I began to feel OK talking about it. Like I had crossed that bridge to the land of a new struggle, but now, at least, I was some kind of expert on the old struggle. I began to write.

I wrote about our years of confusion and loss. I wrote about our adoption journey. I wrote about parenting a child with special needs, and about the early brushes with anxiety and depression as I grappled with a future that was miles apart from the one I had spent a lifetime preparing for.

And then I stopped. The hard got harder and the heavy got heavier, and I got uncomfortable taking up THAT kind of space. It was too much. It was too unrelatable. I leaned hard into social media, a place where I could share the real stuff every now and again, but dress it up with plenty of relatable content, happy musings, everyday victories, food pics, adventures, and a healthy dose of sarcasm.

When the big feels would come, I stayed in that lane and wrote (and wrote and wrote and wrote) theeeeeeeee longest posts you ever did see. Oy. This girl has never been one to struggle to reach a word count. But the thing about “publishing” on social media… social media isn’t meant to be a blog. You can only reach so many hearts. You can only easily access your content for so long before it’s buried under the next week’s of new recipe you tried and fresh heaps of sarcasm. And you don’t actually own your own voice – it’s only “yours” as long as you, or the platform, decide to stick around.

So here we are, blogging again. Ten years (actually to the day) since I first hit the publish button and began spilling my guts about infertility and adoption. Back when I thought you had to be some kind of “expert” to be allowed to share your heart. What’s different now? Here you’ll find a girl more willing to admit she doesn’t know what she doesn’t know. Here you’ll find a girl willing to write about the “figuring it out” parts. Here you’ll find a girl who is learning (and re-learning every day) to lay it down. To let go, to release control, and to trust God to do His perfect thing. The Psalm passage above is my very most absolute favorite, even though it’s probably the ONE I struggle with the most.

Who knows what the future holds for social media, and honestly who knows what the future holds for WordPress and other blog hosts? All I know is that I feel most like me when I have a space to write, a space to process and gain clarity, a space to let down my walls and show my heart, a space to help others feel less alone.

This will be a better space for that. Thanks for being here.