Sharing the Hard Stuff

I love to share jokes and memes and sarcasm.

I love to share recipes and tips and products I’m obsessed with.

I love to share all the things adorable and amazing and beautiful going on in my world.

I love to share anything safe. Easy. Guaranteed to make others feel good.

I do NOT love to share the hard stuff.

Why is that? It’s not that I don’t want my loved ones to know about the trenches we’re in. Actually – I think there’s so much good that comes from sharing the ugly stuff. Encouragement for me, encouragement for others, ways to relate to one another, opportunities to serve, opportunities to pray… it’s so powerful and necessary to air it out sometimes. I know that.

But the part I struggle with is my reaction to how others respond. I chose my words carefully there.

My struggle is NOT in how others respond.

My loved ones are showing love and concern by even reaching out at all. They are, more than likely, responding in the way they personally would like to have others respond to them.

My struggle is MY reaction. I can’t expect every person I know to “speak my language.” And since I came to understand that, to drop that expectation, to accept every response as coming from a place of love and concern… it’s easier to share the ugly stuff.

Some people jump into problem-solving mode. “Have you tried this, have you tried that?” I work hard to remember – this is how they show love. They want to ease my burden. They know I’m capable, they know I have turned every stone… they just want to find a way to take away my pain.

Some people draw on their own life experiences. “That’s kind of like this thing that happened to me one time.” I work hard to remember – this is how they show love. They want me to know I’m not the only one hurting. They know our “trenches” are not the same, but they want to help me feel less alone.

Some people (ME!) offer a simple, “That really sucks. I’m so sorry. I’m praying for you.” You might struggle when you reach out for help and this is all you get – and here’s what you can remember – this is how they show love. They want you to know they respect the uniqueness of the trials you are experiencing and can’t begin to understand. They care about you and would love to hear more. But they want to turn it over to Jesus. Stat.

Today, I’m putting myself out there.

I’m struggling with insurance companies.

I’m struggling with spring break.

I’m struggling with Autism.

I’m struggling with medical supplies.

I’m struggling.

And you can pray for me, you can try to problem-solve for me, you can tell me all about your husband’s cousin’s kid who has Autism – because you’re loving me, the best way you know how. And I’ll accept that.

Have you ever thought through before, why it’s hard for you to share about the hard stuff?

It’s all a lot to think about, isn’t it?!?