Today, Libby had her first field trip today in… 4 years I wanna say? In 1st grade I think she skipped because it was childrens’ theatre and Libby doesn’t “do” clapping. (Seriously – don’t start a round of applause when she’s around 
) In 2nd grade, I think the field trip was to be in spring, and that spring was 2020 soooooo… yeah. 3rd grade – same. So here she is, in 4th grade, and hasn’t been on a field trip since K.
Hasn’t ridden a bus…
Had the precious school day “routine” upended…
Spent significant school time outside…
Tried to eat lunch in a place that’s not the same as every other day…
Four years 
I worried most of the morning. Well… not worried really. Just waiting for the call. The call that she won’t get on the bus, or off the bus, or sat down screaming in a mud puddle, or was tired and refusing to walk, or couldn’t make it 4 full hours away from the school bathroom routine and needed new clothes, or, or, or…
I’m not being dramatic. It’s all happened before and it’s just our normal.
Then the pics started coming in, and be still my heart, she made it. She rode the bus, she walked all over the farm, she went on a hay ride, she played, she touched and fed animals, she came home in the same outfit, she didn’t eat any lunch but hey we’ll take it, and most importantly… she had fun.
When I look at pics from school, I look first at if her hands are anxiously scratching at her headphones, or calm and exploring the world. I look first at if her shoulders are tense and hunched, or relaxed and feeling safe. I look first at if her eyes are wide with fear, or sparkling with joy. THEN I look at what’s she’s actually doing.
This is us. Worry is not worry, but preparedness. The moments get really hard, and the simplest of tasks require so much more thought and effort than I ever imagined possible.
But the joys mean so much more than they do to anybody else, so I guess that makes us the lucky ones 
Great job today, Libby Joy. You’re my hero.
Thy Will Be Done 